Monday, 5 August 2013

Sleeping Princess

The Sleeping Princess
Once upon a time long long time ago there were two princesses, one was called princess Kally and the other one was called princess Sally. Princess Kally was the older one, princess Sally was the younger one.

After a few months they had a younger brother. The princesses were grateful about having another member in their family. However, as the years went by, the princesses noticed a change in their brother; they noticed that he was acting rather evil. For example, he would rip their homework up and once they caught him shredding their father’s important papers.

One day while their brother  was out at  a  party, the princesses went to their parents to tell them what was happening. As soon as they got there and told their mum and dad what was going on, their mum and dad just said they were just being dramatic and that they were leaving to go to the shops.

The princesses decided to have a look in their brother’s room but when they got there, they could not see anything suspicious. Perhaps he could have hidden the things?

When their mum and dad came back to the huge castle, the princesses told them that they were going outside to skip. Their mum and dad were confused because they knew that the girls thought it was babyish but they agreed. After they had gone skipping their brother was already home. The princesses went into their brother’s room again but this time their brother was inside and he said’“You always get more appreciated than me ,but now I will kill you!”

“NO” screamed princess Sally in fright.

“Alright, but I will put you both in a deep sleep.”

But before princess Sally could say anything else, she was fast asleep.

‘Don’t worry,” princess Kally whispered. “I’ll help you.”

Princess Kally rushed outside to find someone to help her. She ran and ran until she found an old dusty box. “I wonder what is in this box?” she said, but when princess Kally opened the box a fairy popped out. “I’m Rally and I will grant you three wishes if you promise you will use them for good”.

I promise” said princess Kally.

“Alright, what is your first wish?”

“I wish princess Sally awakes” said princess Kally.

With a sudden BOOM princess Sally was standing next to princess Kally.

“My next wish is that our brother is appreciated the same way as us and my last wish is to have world peace.”  The fairy said, “all you have wished for has come true; have a nice day.”

When they got home, everyone was waiting by the door and they all lived happily ever after.

                          The End

1 comment:

Ms M said...

Khushnaz, I really enjoyed reading your fractured fairytale. You enjoyed our Fairytales unit and this shows in the imaginative elements of your writing. You have worked well towards achieving the learning intention which was to rewrite a known fairy tale using the elements of narrative writing. You used the success criteria to help you create an entertaining fairytale. I particularly like the interesting words and adverbs you have used in your story. Ka pai! Your next step is to work on developing a strong ending to your story. It is easy to rush an ending after writing a long story but it is one of the most important parts as it pulls the whole story together. Remember you can add more detail when you are revising and editing your work.